I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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