How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
