5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
