Don't you send me to vm
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
