I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Randomize
