i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
