His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize