its not stalking. its research.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
