"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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