you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
