Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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