Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
