We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
