Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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