Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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