How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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