I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
