I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
this hospital has no fireball
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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