so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
