So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
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I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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