We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.