We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.