Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure