You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize