it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
