He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize