We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
