it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We left the knife in your bed.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
