White coat. Heels.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
