i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
