...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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