Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
