Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
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I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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