i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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