I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
