Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
