"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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