Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
