I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
