this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
home. puking in laundry basket.
My pussy is not your playground.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
