Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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