great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
