Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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