My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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