I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
