the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize