The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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