What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize