remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
