woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
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He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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