Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
