It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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