He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there's paper in my vomit.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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