I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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