If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
