So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
