your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
